LOTR: Return of the King

[Chaos Butterfly]

Alas! due to my general slackness the opportunity to fly down to Wellington where the premiere was held and throw myself at Orlando Bloom has passsed me by. I thought I'd post this list of fun things to do during the movie for the less hardcore fans, like myself, courtesy of Sideswipe and the NZ Herald.

Sideswipe

01.12.2003

How to amuse yourself through the gruelling three hours and 12 minutes of The Return of the King ...
1. Stand up halfway through the movie and yell loudly, "Wait ... where the hell is Harry Potter?"

2. Block the entrance to the theatre while screaming: "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" - after the movie.

3. Play a drinking game where you have to take a sip every time someone says: "The Ring".

4. Finish off every one of Elrond's lines with "Mr Anderson".

5. Talk like Gollum all through the movie.

6. When Shelob appears, pinch the guy in front of you on the back of the neck.

7. Dress up as old ladies and re-enact "The Battle of Helms Deep" Monty Python style.

8. Ask people around you who they think is the next "Terminator" sent from the Middle Earth of the future to assassinate Frodo Baggins.

9. Talk loudly about how you heard that there is a single frame of a nude Elf hidden somewhere in the movie.

10. Come to the premiere dressed as Frankenfurter and wander around looking terribly confused.

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[Exotic Ginger]

OMG! That was sooooo funny! [img]biggrin.gif[/img]

[Neophobic Man]

Oh now I do like that list...

[3peanuts]

I was half asleep during the second episode: my right eye was btw.

Useful list Chaos...verily!

[Chaos Butterfly]

I was watching the American 20/20 special last weekend and they kept talking about stuff happening on this 'small remote island' [img]graemlins/wonder.gif[/img] and we were going [img]confused.gif[/img] ???what small remote island. Then we figured out they were talking about New Zealand.

*ROTFL* [img]biggrin.gif[/img]

[Neophobic Man]

New Zealand...New Zealand...sounds familiar...can't quite place it though... [img]tongue.gif[/img]

[3peanuts]

Left of center, over the rainbow, two miles from the wandering iceberg.

[Chaos Butterfly]

More hilarity hunted out by Sideswipe.

Sideswipe

17.12.2003


Ways Peter Jackson could ruin The Return of the King, according to satirical website BBspot:

11. At the end Gandalf seen stroking the ring in black robes saying, "My preciousss." Setting up Lord of the Rings: Part IV.

10. Legolas and Aragorn competing to see who can toss Gimli over the Cracks of Doom.

9. Immortals sailing off to the west to the tune of Styx's Come Sail Away.

8. Gollum swallowing ring - they have to wait a few days for it to come out.

7. Gandalf talks orcs into union labour strike against Sauron. There is no huge battle scene.

6. Citizens of Gondor overthrow Aragorn's monarchy and install a representative democracy.

5. Side plot involving disgruntled rock bands whose Monsters of Pelennor concert gets interrupted by giant battle.

4. Scouring of the Shire replaced with massive hobbit rave-orgy.

3. Gollum biting off Frodo's hand then revealing he is Frodo's father.

2. Revealing that hobbits are short because of a genetic defect caused by toxic runoff from Rivendell.

1. Sam holding up 9.5 after Gollum dives into Cracks of Doom. Exchanging high 4s with Frodo.

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